I am sitting here looking at a blank post page (listening to Dora in the background-maybe that's the problem) not knowing what to write. I don't want to be a slacker mainly because I love being a part of the blogging world but I have been so unmotivated lately, depressed really. When I get like that I don't even
read blogs, dare I say that. I know there are lots of other women that struggle with the same stuff but we don't mention it very often, if at all. I know we all like to hide behind our masks and create this normalness image for everyone. Well, not today.
I feel like crap, I am not pms-ing, I have no motivation, I am still in my pjs and I could actually get back into bed and sleep all day. Alright, I will just save you the diagnoses because I already know that I struggle with depression in a moderate way. I take meds and see a counselor on a regular basis but it doesn't make these days go away. I have learned you just have to go with it until it passes and do the things that help you get past these times.
So I am sitting here and my boys are at the table and I start listening in. Caden is trying to teach Sage how to make 'manna', yes like in the bible. I guess it is just blobs of bread with a little honey and then you squish it up and eat it-manna! Who knew.
The way they were interacting was what really caught me because Caden was being the perfect, patient teacher and Sage the willing, complient student. Not to be cheezy but it was '
manna' to my ears. It fed my soul in a way that they could not have created on their own. My boys getting along, even helping each other and then going off together to play something-
together! That is
therapeutic.
Of course you know that within an hour or maybe less they will
not be getting along and the moment will be gone except for the huge sticky blobs of honey all over the table and stool. Enjoy it while it lasts I say.
5 comments:
Kim- I will pray for you today.
Mmmm manna!
Thanks for your openness! Are you sure your not PMSing? (JK!! That's me) I hear ya though, and have had to work through a lot over the past 5 years... depression included. It took getting in touch with what was really going on inside of me--the real me--to move forard, not that it brought any great solution to my life... just greater understanding and self-acceptance. Hang in there, my friend!
I loved this post! The "manna" your boys gave you is something you will LONG remember. These are the precious moments that are God's gifts to us.
A number of years ago I went through a stage in my life where I was dealing with deep depression. I read in a book one day a thought that really helped me and gave me insight. It said something along the effects of: It's okay to be depressed so don't try and fight it. BUT at the first sign tell yourself "Okay I'm depressed and I'm going to decide right now how long I will be depressed" and then set a time 5 minutes, an hour, 1/2 a day, a day, a week. You decide and then stick to it. Sounds a little silly but it really worked for me because just allowing myself to realize that I did have control over how long and how much time I wanted to spend depressed sort of made the impact on me that I didn't want to give it very much time.
When you have gray hair, like me, you realize how very short life is and how very important it is to savor every minute, even the bad.
Susan
http://penlesswriter.blogspot.com
It's just me telling you that I'm so glad you posted. What a gift from above to have your boys doing something so small yet so huge to lift your spirits. Once again, God is good. We are thankful for the small things.
Love ya!
The Prayer Book is Open :)
I love pictures of your kids.
"You have to go with it until it passes..." That's such a huge realization. When I am struggling with those feelings, it's hard for me to not think I'll feel this way the rest of my life; and that makes me feel even worse, of course.
I appreciate your talking about this because everyone around me has a smile on and seems to be doing much better than I am. There's a lot of bantering and talking about the weather, but it's not appropriate to share how we're really feeling... unless around good friends. And, I'm learning that my blogging friends may become better friends of mine than most who live here in my town.
And, by the way, it's nice to meet you. :)
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